Wardrobe Malfunction

I had a wardrobe malfunction today... wanna hear? So, I knew it was supposed to be really windy here today, but it's also quite warm so I wanted to where a skirt. I chose one that hits me just below the knees... I thought that would give me plenty of room for the skirt to blow around a bit without actually causing a problem. Well, I was wrong. When I exited my building, about the first thing that happened was my skirt got caught on the vortex of wind between my building and the tall building next door. It tried to turn completely inside out, but I caught it before I flashed anyone. But then, I'm stuck wearing this skirt all day (I should have gone home and changed right then, but I didn't). So on my way between the bus stop and my office, I had to hold both sides of my skirt down. It was uncomfortable to walk like that, and I'm sure it looked weird. I was glad to make it to the windless comfort of my office. I went to the ladies room around 10:30 for my usual morning pee and when I sat down and pulled down my underwear I REALIZED THAT I HAD ACCIDENTALLY PUT ON A PAIR OF UNDERWEAR THAT THE DOG HAD EATEN THE CROTCH OUT OF... so there I was... a skirt that wanted to fly over my head and a pair of underwear with a huge hole in the crotch. I have no idea how I put on those underwear without noticing that half of them was missing. Sheesh. So, on my lunch break, I waddled (holding my skirt down on both sides) down to the H&M and bought a pair of pants. Because I wanted to try on the pants before I bought them and because I had no crotch in my underwear and I didn't want to inflict my crotch on clothes that I wasn't sure I was going to buy, I also got a pair of underwear there too.. I took it into the dressing room and put the new underwear on before trying on the pants... then took them off, put on my stupid skirt again and went and bought both underwear and pants. Then, because H&M doesn't have a bathroom and because I couldn't figure out how to change into the pants and underwear after I had purchased them without H&M thinking I was trying to steal something, I waddled next door to the Borders Bookstore and changed in their bathroom. Sheesh. What an ordeal!!! I learned a lesson today. NEVER WEAR SKIRTS WHEN ITS WINDY and NEVER WEAR UNDERWEAR WITHOUT A CROTCH (unless you're into that sorta thing).